Toast It So

Dissociation is troubling.

Now, I’m not talking about Dissociative Identity Disorder; that’s a whole ‘nother bucket of chicken.

But dissociation is a real thing, and come to find out, quite common in those who live with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or cPTSD (I like the way it looks better with the little ‘c’ in the front. .Ed).

But anyway, not only does dissociation take you out of the moment, it obviously follows that it affects your memory of said moment. What’s crazy, is that I can remember things you, but if I’m honest I can’t always be sure if the memory is accurate, which is very debilitating when it comes to building trust. With yourself.

I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with the understanding that I may not in fact be a very reliable source for my stories. Which is frightening, as a person who wants nothing more than to control the narrative.

But here we are.

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” – C. Gustav Jung